Confessions of an Internet Junkie

The icon has no relevance to the post; it just makes me smile.

Nothing much happening around here. sffan was here for the New Year's holiday, so that was fun. We played Scrabble, and then I had to call it a night while the rest of them played a board game about farming; as strange as it sounds, it apparently turned out to be a real hoot. Deb (our friend/landlady) showed up, too, and then we had company Friday afternoon. More company tomorrow. To be honest, I'll be glad to get back to just regular same-old same-old. I like the holidays, but they always seem to go on for a few more days than I can really handle. Especially recently.

I talked to Deb about helping out with the office work at the mill. I don't even know if it's paying or not, but I need to start doing something. I'll be organizing her paperwork from 2009, and weirdo that I am, I find that sort of thing enjoyable. I was supposed to start Tuesday, but I forgot that I'll be driving Dar to a doctor's appointment that day. She'll be finding out how well all her previous chemo worked. Fingers crossed that she gets good news, eh.

Once I get my Immigration status set (notice how optimistic I'm being there), I want to look into doing editing/proofreading from home. I honestly don't know if I can work a regular job anymore - at least not one that doesn't offer a very flexible schedule. I never know from day to day what my health is going to be like or how much stamina I'll have. I can start out fine and then get hit with a wave of killer fatigue. It makes it very hard to plan anything, not just work.

I feel hemmed in. I am hemmed in. Some of it is due to my environment, some due to my illness, some to my own inertia. I want a change. I want to go somewhere, do something. I was thinking at least of doing the daily photo regimen again. I probably won't post every day, but I can at least take the photos. I've fallen out of the habit. Engage. I need to engage.

1. I've still been sick all week, although functioning better than I had last Sunday. My health has been steadily declining, but Dar is keeping my hopes up with the fact that after a high fever your metabalism and other systemic workings need to reregulate for about a week. Today is a week since I got that high fever, so I'm expecting improvement to start tomorrow. Shall we say 6:30ish in the AM? Would that be acceptable, immune system? **muttered imprecations**

2. I still don't have my permanent work visa. This is making me crazy. They said it was ready to go, just missing a stamp on a form. I sent in the final forms and they received them May 25. Send me my visa!! I've got doctor's bills piling up here. I'm forgoing blood work that I should be getting monthly. I'm canceling long-standing appointments because of my OHIP still being expired because I need the damn visa already. Sigh. Please send it. Please.

3. I've started writing again. Slowly. It's picking up a piece that I dropped three years ago. I'm editing and kicking it around. Now I'm thinking that it's whiny and self-indulgent, but I also think that I can save it with more editing and a tighter focus. It's baby steps right now, but I need this. I need to know that I can still do something.

4. I want to enter a picture I took into the local agricultural fair. The only subject for which I had a suitable picture to enter was Cloud Formations, so I'm going to show this one.
( Cumulostratus at sunset ) We'll see how it goes.

5. True Blood may drag me back to fandom. Great characters, some fine acting all the way down through the minor players, and a definite style. And it's an ensemble show, which is always a plus for me. What do y'all think of it?

6. One or more of the cats has turned into a literal head hunter. So far this week Mark and I have chucked out a headless bird, a few headless mice, and several headless frogs. The bodies are apparently trophies to be displayed in the hallway on the carpet - which is where we keep finding them. It's a mystery.

7. Oh, yeah. Remember our mentioning how the house is cursed? Well Dar was talking to an EMT last week, and he said that people think the whole road is cursed. There have been three suicides on this road, the latest one last month. Maybe they were being haunted by various local headless fauna. Time to go, honey. Oh, yes.

No, really. Could you lend me your ears? Mine are all frakked up. I've been having a problem for going on two months now with my ears getting progressively more blocked and painful, lots of pressure, especially in the right ear. At first I thought it was a bad reaction to some meds, so I let it slide. Then I thought it might be part of a sinus infection since my sinuses were acting up, too. I took some decongestants steadily for a while, and the sinus part cleared up but the ears only got marginally better, and then got worse. Finally I figured that I had a big ol' wax dam in there because . . . I'd started using Qtips again. ::hangs head in shame and looks dutifully chastened:: I spent a couple days of Dar putting olive oil in my ear (really, it's the same as using mineral oil) to soften things up, and then Dar spent a bunch of time yesterday trying to flush it all out with water. Lots and lots and lots and lots of water. Nothing really seemed to be helping. Today we went out and - among other errands - bought a pen light so she could use an otoscope to check it out. And ::drum roll:: no wax at all in there, but a lot of goop is trapped behind the ear drum. In other words, an ear infection. On the plus side, I have the cleanest ear canal in all of North America. And Dar also confirmed what I have suspected for many years: my ear canals are wackily made - they're all bendy and curvy and whatnot. So, some high dose antibiotics, and I should have my normal hearing back pretty soon. Yay! Cuz seriously, this has been like walking around with a sea shell pressed painfully up against your ear 24/7 - all wooshy noise and disorienting.

Meanwhile back at the alpacas - absolutely nothing has happened. How do they do that?!!?? How do they get all bulgey and pushing and labory and then just decide, "Nah, I think I'll bag the giving birth thing for a while." They are sweet and adorable and funny and absolutely crazy making.

And speaking of crazy making: it's less than 60 days until the general election. I'm not going to make it, I swear. I actually believe that those brain dead idiots who gave the world Bush's second term are going to put McCain and Palin in the White House. Because she's so cuuuute and feisty and OMG a hockey mom! And then McCain's going to drop dead from a heart attack or apoplexy when someone pisses him off, and she's going to end up president. And then really kiss the USA good-bye. Meanwhile Canada is getting ready to elect Bush Lite Harper and a majority Conservative government. What the fuck is going on? I'm gonna take my fam and my cats and my alpacas and moving to a heretofore undiscovered island. Sovereign territory. Bite me, conservatives!

Ahem.

My cat photos are starting to get some reactions over on Flickr. I've been asked to post some at invitation-only sites, and I've been getting positive feedback. Always a mood lightener, that. I'd be very happy just taking cat photos for the rest of my days. All animals, really. I'm imagining what I could accomplish if 1) I had a couple of different lenses, and 2) I actually knew what I was doing :) The world would be my oyster! And then I would take a picture of it.

True Blood starts tomorrow night. Eh, I'll give it a try, although I'm not all that excited about it. Vampires have been done to death and back again. (Heh. Get it?) And this one sounds as if it could be pretty heavy-handed with the gay/AIDS symbolism. I'll just have to see. ANTM is promising to be a good season. Yay, Isis! I'm really rooting for her to make it through to the final three anyway. Project Runway finally started in Canada last week, but I missed the first episode. I hear tell that they design gowns for drag queens this season, and that I have got to see.

But for now, me and my goopy ears need a nap.

Another one of those days. UP and down and up and down. It's ending on a mellow note, so that's good.

My car died while we were at the mill. It's been doing this thing where it won't start. The battery and alternator are fine; the damn car just won't start. No sound, no nothing. Usually if I try a few times it will be OK, but today . . . nothing. Fortunately (relatively speaking) the mill is only a couple of miles from that back country repair shop that fixed it the last time it croaked. So we had it towed there and Deb gave us a ride home in her truck.

The mechanic called about 6PM to say that it's a "finicky" safety switch. He won't have a replacement until Monday, but he did tell me how to get around the safety feature and actually start the damn car. So Mark drove me there and I have the car back for a couple of days.

I just found out about a photo contest at one of the (many) local fairs. Deb is entering a number of her photos, and since she knew I took some, too, she encouraged me to enter. I'm going to give it a shot, but the deadline is Thursday morning; I'd have to print them out, mount them, label them, and rush them over to the fair grounds - wherever the hell that is - and to be honest, I'm not sure I'll have the energy. Plus we have more running around to do tomorrow. And possibly a cria to deliver. Although it looks as if Cinnamon Girl is content to just have the cria grow to adulthood, you know, inside her. Sigh. So who knows.

I've been kind of blue most of the day. While Dar was in town at a meeting, I went out to the barn and just hung out with the guys. Conchita and Sparky were kushed in the big doorway by the main paddock; Gertie was in there eating from the hanging hay bag; Cinnamon was standing over the open hay box, munching away. I just curled up on the other deck box and closed my eyes and listened to them chewing. It was very peaceful. I finally stirred myself and got to work getting them settled for the night. They really are a pleasure to be around. When they're not throwing an orgy, anyway.

After I got my car back, I took a run into Palmerston to see if I could find a booklet with info about the photo contest. Which I did. Then I came home, did some dishes, and basically spaced out for the rest of the night. I can't believe that it's after 11 already.

Time to call it a night.