Confessions of an Internet Junkie

Well, cria watch is on full alert. We noticed that Conchita was starting to dilate this evening. She shut down as the sun was setting, but it really looks as if she'll be going into full labor starting a little after the sun comes up. You really have to admire alpaca birthing systems. And for those of you who've always wondered what a dilating alpaca looks like:
( Look here. ) She's certainly going about this in a completely different way than Gertie did. Gertie avoided food, Conchita will eat your arm off if you're not careful; Gertie paced back and forth continually, Conchita spends most of the day kushed; Gertie was just about glued to the poo pile, Conchita pretty much ignores it unless she actually has to go. Makes me wonder what the actual birth is going to be like.

We also have the new barn for the boys going up. It should be finished by tomorrow night, and it looks great. Iceman will be coming home this week now that his new digs are ready, and we're trying like hell to figure out a way to get Cinnamon Girl back here very soon, too. She's due to give birth at the end of the month, so once we get everyone home, in just a few weeks we'll have eleven alpacas roaming around the place.

The barn kitties are coming along nicely. They're eyes are much improved, and it looks as if even Miranda will have some vision; we're not sure about both of her eyes, but one is certainly visible and working. They're absolutely adorable and at the age where they just keep us laughing with their antics. We had to put them in a taller box since Chloe and Jane both figured out how to clamber out of the smaller one. It's a little too dangerous out there for such babies to be wandering around, but we're going to be putting up a little chicken-wire enclosure for them so that during the day they can get some sunshine and exercise. I figure that we can use the canopy from the lawn tractor to keep the sun off them so they don't burn to a crisp. ( Wanna see MommaCat? ) She's a lovely and affectionate girl and quite the good little mommy.

Speaking of the lawn tractor - it's dead. Or as good as dead. Yes, this is the one that we bought 10 days ago. Or, as Home Depot was quick to note, three days past the time when we could return it for a new one. Shoot me now. It's still under warranty so we can send it in for repair, but I think they'll end up getting us a new one anyway because this one, I'm guessing, has a cracked engine block. The oil leaks out. All of it. And not from the drain to the oil cylinder, from under the center of the tractor where the blades are. We're cursed. You know that, right? At least when it comes to crap like this.

I still haven't heard back from my (I use the term loosely) doctor about the blood work results or a referral to a rheumatologist. To give her some slack, I wasn't home Friday afternoon, and we don't have an answering machine so the clinic could have called. I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. Grudgingly, mind you. I'll be calling on Monday morning. And again Monday afternoon. And Tuesday morning. And Tuesday afternoon. You get the picture. I plan on being the squeakiest wheel those bozos have ever had to deal with.

And with that, I should try to get some sleep. I think it's going to be a busy day tomorrow what with - please! - Conchita's cria arriving and all. Oh, and dumbphilomel will be stopping by to drop off her lovely bunnies while she goes away to visit family back in India. I think we'll just about be at the point where we can advertise our place as a petting zoo :)

Night all.

Another day spent mostly on the road. We started off early at the two local farmers' markets so darlong's dad could get the experience. During tourist season both markets (which are across the road from each other) become insanely crowded, so if you want to actually do some shopping instead of jostling and sidestepping, you have to get there first thing in the morning; that would be 7AM.

We snagged some veggies and homemade baked goods, then hit the road again just as the crowds started to swarm in. Dar's dad wanted to take us out for breakfast, so we drove over to an area hot spot: Anna Mae's. It's a Mennonite-run restaurant/bakery, very popular with the locals and another big tourist locale. To be honest, I'm not that hot on it as a restaurant. The service is dead slow, the food is meh, and at least one order will be screwed up. On the other hand, their baked goods are out of this world and are the real reason so many people beat a path to their door. We would normally just pop in to get a coffee and an apple fritter to go. But Dar's dad really wanted to do this for us, so of course we said yes. He enjoyed the food, so that made the wait worth it.

Back home for about an hour, then off I went again in search of 1) a pair of skimmers (like ballet slippers) and 2)many implements to help us beat back the jungle that is becoming our property. I had no luck with the skimmers; the pair I liked didn't come in the half size I needed, and the size that fit were ridiculously expensive for a little shoe. I gave up on that and concentrated on the cutty things.

TSC and Home Depot were on my list. TSC had the bush cutter that we've been wanting to get, and I talked with one of the service guys to be sure that it was going to do what we needed it to do - mainly hack through the very tall grass, weeds, and small shrubs that are taking over the place. He said that's what it was engineered to do, so I was going to walk off with it when I realized that it was never going to fit in the back of my Mazda. I got him to hold it for me, and off I went to Home Depot.

HD has the lawn tractors that we've been lusting over. I cornered the local farmboy that they have on duty in that section, and I think I found the perfect little machine for out needs. Not so little machine, really. It's still considered to be a lawn tractor, but it's more tractor than lawn, and we'll be able to use it to haul and plow as well as mow. I wouldn't buy it without getting the OK from the Dar and Mark, so I'm hoping we'll go back tomorrow and place the order. While there I also picked up a weed whacker for the stuff that's too wee for the bush hog and too enclosed for the mower.

Back home again. Grabbed a half a sandwich, switched the car for the Jeep, and back out to TSC to pick up the bush hog. While there I finally - finally - bought the cart of my dreams. Right now when we need to haul something out to the paddocks or the back lot, we have to use either a wheelbarrow or a kid's plastic toboggan. Sometimes we use an unfolded tarp. Not really the best way to be carrying large, heavy, awkwardly shaped items. This cart is metal, large, has a flat bed, removable sides, and the handle converts to hitch that you can attack to your lawn tractor. Score! I'm so excited. Now all I have to do is put it together. That and the weed whacker, too. Guess I know what I'll be doing for a good part of tomorrow.

Looking at the state of the yard and the pasture and the back 40 (as we call the area behind the paddocks) is really depressing. The old lawn tractor we'd been using has been dead for a couple of weeks now; I was using the hand mower, but this stupid whatever it is I have means that I don't have the stamina right now to do too much with it. Plus the heat had been ungodly for most of the week. So . . . we're living in a jungle. I can't wait to get to it and beat it back into submission.

And that's enough of that. Pretty boring, eh. It doesn't sound like much, but it took me hours to do all of that, and then I came home and crashed big time. I did revive early enough to make it outside and watch Dar get the 'pacas ready for bed. Yup, she worked and I sat there and watched her. I suck. I did take some pictures, so next up is the 'paca spam. You have been warned.

After a wild day of transporting people hither and yon, I made it to my doctor to see what's what with all this leg pain. She doesn't have a clue. It's all a mystery. However, she did give me referrals for blood work, x-rays, and rehab. The rehab may be months down the line due to the lack of medical personnel around here, but at least it's out there on the horizon somewhere. The good news is that she's taking all of this seriously because it is so bizarre. I'm supposed to take AC&C's every four hours (that's tylenol with equal but small amounts of caffeine and codeine), plus she gave me a prescription for a daily anti-inflammatory that won't eat away at the lining of my pouch, and a prescription for Tylenol-3 to take at bedtime. If that don't do the trick, I'm to call her. And let me tell you, if that don't do the trick, I'll be camped out on her doorstep.

In alpaca news (because there's always alpaca news), Delilah ripped off a pretty big patch of skin on her face. We found blood on that stupid, naked pine tree that they're always scraping up against, so she either scraped more than she intended to, or else she and Adama were goofing around (as usual) and she got pushed up against it pretty forcefully. Either way, the tree is coming down tomorrow. Have saw, will cut.

I killed the lawn tractor trying to cut down the brush out in the outback. (Reminds me of a song from The Bonzo Bow-wow Dog Band: "Hunting tigers, out in India. Out in, out in, out in India. Ia!") Anyway, the blades got all hung up on something out there, and now we have nothing but the push mower to use against the five acres of rapidly growing weeds and grass. I did some hand mowing this morning but had to quit after about 30 minutes because of the heat. Tomorrow and Thursday are each going to be progressively hotter. Joy. I'll do what I can, because heat stroke is not my friend. We will be investing in a brush mower.

Still haven't had a chance to assemble the seed spreader. Hopefully tomorrow while I'm hiding from the killer heat. (Seriously - 30C/90F with humidity. Yikes!)

Funny moment to leave you with. I was driving the Nana and JBD to his appointment with the oral surgeon today. Dar had him looped up because he's anxious about dental work and this was going to be pretty intense. Anyway, we're listening to this great oldies station out of Toronto when on comes "Ghost Riders in the Sky." Very soft and low from the back seat I hear JBD singing along, "Yippee ai yay, yippee ai yo" and then the Nana joins in. Hee! It was so cute. Poor guy went on to have a tough time of it at the surgeon's office. Dar's keeping a close eye on him, and we'll be going back tomorrow for a follow-up. Maybe they'll be playing more cowboy music on the radio :)

The last bale of hay we'd bought turned out to be bad. Not just damp on the interior but wet. And moldy. So I hauled out back to the fire barrel and burned it all up.



It was a general clean-up day for me around the place, and I admit to being tuckered. Pretty pleased at what I got accomplished but still tired.

In other news, Mark brought home a momma cat with four kittens. Ten cats, eight alpacas (soon to be ten), and now we're adding at least one llama (I want two: one for the guys' pen, one for the girls') and possibly a horse. I remember when I was overwhelmed at the thought of getting a cat. A cat.

I better get my goats. That's all I'm sayin'.

I'm not really disgruntled; I just like that icon. I am a little looped but not looped enough. I promised Dar that I'd get drunk tonight, but so far that hasn't happened. And I'm out of Bailey's. Noooooooooooooooo! I may end up scrounging around Ye Olde Liquore Cabinet(e) after I post this.

So why is wifey-poo practically ordering me to get drunk? Because I'm going through another phase of pernicious insomnia. Which again would be a great name for a band. Pernicious Insomnia - Songs to Beat the Sleep Right Out of You. I'll take two copies, please. Now I know that drinking doesn't give you a restful sleep, but when I pointed that out to Dar she came back with the "Like you're getting restful sleep now?" argument. So . . . what the hell.

And I'll be right back. Might as well drink and type, right?

Behold before me the emerald green bottle of Growers Granny Smith Aplle sparkling apple cider. We'll see how this works, shall we?

Ok, about 30 minutes has passed because I took one sip of the Growers and retched. Tasted like piss. Went out to the kitchen and met up with sffan and browncoat and the Nana; they talked me into trying the Cranberry hard cider. It? Tasted like cranberry piss. The search was on to find something alcoholic and tasty. Even my old beloved standby of Jack Daniels tasted off. So I settle for a sombrero (milk and Kahlua (Kaluha?)); I don't see much change, but at least it was tasty.

Anyway . . .it's midnight. I think it's going to be a long night. I have a prescription for sleeping pills (Imovane!), but it's $70-$75 to fill it, so that's out for a little while. Which is why we got into a big discussion in the kitchen about healthcare in Canada, Ireland, and the States. In the States not everyone has healthcare, but if you do, you also get the prescription coverage, so most drugs cost at most $10 for you to fill. Here in Canada (and the Nana said in Ireland), you get free healthcare for everyone, but you still end up paying for your prescriptions unless you have coverage through work. And then you still have to pay a dispensing fee when you pick it up. REally, people of the world - it's no great help to get free coverage to find out that you're sick if you can't afford the cure! Work on that, OK?

Meanwhile, back at Gertie's uterus, things are progressing. OR so we hope. Her udder is huge! And her vulva is really red and distended and more open than a few days ago. (I took pictures when she was being sheared. Dar told me to; it wasn't my idea!) And now it's looking like Conchita is going to give birth not too much longer, too. Satine is not pregnant, as we thought she was, so we're going to have to hook her up with some good-looking stud. (Breeding animals means you can say things like that and have it taken literally.) So we'll rebreed Gertie and Conchita two weeks after they've delivered (I know!) and have Satine taken care of, too. It's going to be a hot bed of alpaca sexin' going on here.

Let's see, what else. Adventures in lawn mowing. I took the lawn tractor into the back couple of acres to cut down the brush there, and I thought I was going to set everything on fire - if I didn't suffocate first. That tractor is on it's last legs. Pistons. Whatever. Belching black smoke, jerking along, going way too slow for the gear I had it in. We don't want to invest in major repairs since 1)it's wicked old, and 2) we'll be replacing it with a new lawn tractor next month some time. I still need to have a working tractor until then, though. Grrrrrr. And the push lawn mower (emphasis on push) almost bit the dust, too. I ran over a plastic bag because I didn't see it lurking in the high grass near the bushes. Not only did it disable the rotors, some of the plastic got sucked into the filter (or whatever) and started smoking in a scary way. That all got fixed eventually, too. Really, all I want to do is cut some fucking grass. Must it really be this big a deal?

I think we're luring sffan into being a weekend alpaca herder. She was out there with me this morning moving the alpacas around between paddocks and hauling hay bags and water buckets and such. Delilah came up and snuffled her, which was very cute. Let's put it this way: SF is going to buy some paddock boots to leave here so she can do the barn stuff when she comes to visit. I think she's one of us now :) Well, at least on the occasional weekend. She's too much of a city girl to give it up completely.

My mind just went blank. I think I need to do something that I just can't think of at the moment. It should be sleep, but you know . . . not. Reading maybe. I'll figure it out.

Oh, it was one of those nights, you know? UP and down and up and down and up and down. For a few rollicking minutes this morning Dar was trying to determine whether or not my appendix was going south, but I kept saying no, it wasn't that - and it wasn't. Win! But it all got better as the day progressed anyway.

You know I keep lists, right? And databases? I should so really create a database of all my whinging complaints about my health. I also want a personna named The Mistress of Whinge. Maybe I'll join that anachronist society - what the hell are they called? Enemies of the renfaire types? Pennsic Wars? Ringing any bells? Anyway, you have to pick a name, so I shall be Bellicose, the Mistress of Whinge. Now I need a gown. And a weapon. Besides my acid wit, that is.

Gertie is still pregnant. We tried to give her a drug to move her labor along, but we couldn't catch her. At all. That hulking pregnant middle-aged alpaca outran and outmaneuvered us around that freaking paddock for easily fifteen minutes. We decided that we were probably doing more harm than good, so we called it a loss. We'll try it again tomorrow. We need at least one of the following: a catch pen and/or more willing people to help us herd them. We were trying to get her into the barn where we could confine her in one of the smaller pens and give her the injection. Instead, we got a multi-species remake of the Keystone Kops. We are pathetic.

On the other hand, I did manage to get a halter and lead on Adama all by myself. He was not a happy little boy, but there you have it. We really, really, really have to get those crias halter trained by Monday in time for shearing.

I spent several hours (3, I think) bouncing around on the back of the old lawn tractor. It's the time of year when the grass - and the dandelions - grow like, well weeds. You have to mow every couple of days. I tried to get the push mower started (lots of smaller areas can't be done by tje tractor), but it just wasn't happening. Something bad went down with it over the winter, I'm thinking. Waaah.

Must go bed now. Busy, busy, busy day tomorrow. Yeah, like what else is new, right. Heh. heheheheheheh.

Another day spent on the lawn tractor tooling around the property. This time I was mowing the lawn - all 1200 acres of it. OK, slight exaggeration. But really, it feels that big when you're trying to tame the green beastie. So what's so dorky about mowing the lawn driving a certified antique? Well, if you're sporting a large white mask and carrying a ( Kill All Humans ) messenger bag strapped across your torso, you tend to stand out. Outstanding in the field, as the old joke goes.

The mask is because the lawn tractor is a pollutor and I'm the main victim. Even if I didn't have asthma, I'd end up coughing and gasping if I weren't wearing some sort of mask. (We're getting a new lawn tractor soon. I feel horribly guilty about the pollution, trust me, but this place is too big to get everything done with a hand mower. Which is also a polluter. All of them are. Maybe we should just get a herd of free ranging sheep to eat the lawn and be done with it.)

I've started carrying the bag with me every time I go outside to do work. I always need to carry with me a mask, my rescue inhalor, water, and my camera. My pockets only have so much room, and now with the warmer weather I'm wearing less layers and therefore less pockets. The messenger bag is lightweight and it can strap crossways so I don't have to worry about it slipping off. Poifect!

(The Two Towers is on TV. The Elven archers just marched into Helm's Deep. ::sniff:: Gets' me every time.)

Anyway, I was playing around with the camera since my oringal photos for Project 365 tanked because of faulty batteries, and this is one of my favorites. I love my red shoes. And my Mao.

( Mao and the red shoes. )

1. The raising of the storage shed/temp alpaca shelter continues. And continues. And probably will continue for several more days.

2. The freaking mailbox (aka My Nemesis) didn't just fall over in the wind; the wind split the wood off right at the base. So now we have this little pointy stick of splintered wood sticking up out of the concrete that it was buried in. W. T. F. We stopped by the post office and asked them to hold onto our mail for a few days while we . . . do something.

3. I expect that I'll be showered with rotten tomatoes for saying this, but I'm just not getting Heroes the way the rest of you are. There is no there there, as Dorothy Parker so famously said. The only character I care about is Bennett, and that is not so coincidentally because he's the only one with any substantial backstory.

4. Pixel fell asleep on my bed last night in the most ridiculous position: she was on her back, her body was curved around almost into a U shape, her head was so far back that I couldn't see her ears - and she had her front legs up in the air. Who sleeps like that???

5. We think Gertie is going to have her cria very soon. She's acting unGertie-like and the other alpacas keep sniffing at her butt, which activity is about as welcome as one might expect given Gertie's personality. Alpacas tend to give birth between 10Am and 2PM on a sunny day. They've been known to stop their labor if the situation around them seems hostile and hold onto the cria for another day or so until the mom figures it's safe to let 'er rip. So to speak.

6. Our friend Deb's alpaca gave birth a girl cria this afternoon. We're going to visit tomorrow. No doubt that's the time that Gertie will choose to have her baby. Because apparently that's what alpacas do, too. I can't tell you the number of first-hand accounts we've heard of people studiously monitoring their pregnant alpacas only to have them give birth while the owner went inside to take a phone call or go to the store or something short term like that.

7. I can't stop yawning.

8. LJ is being all kinds of pissy about letting me comment. So that would be why I haven't been commenting as much as I'm wanting to. Anyone else having problems with comments getting posted?

9. I love Drive. And I'm back to loving Lost. The Sopranos is filling me with dread; I think a lot of bad things are going to happen in the next few weeks.

I was busy like a bee this morning, and then I just kind of lost all of my energy. I had intended to take a short nap, but it turned into a 90 minute sleep-a-thon; it was one of those times when I kept trying desperately to wake up and I just couldn't. I really dislike that feeling.

Our Guy Ty came over to fix the faucet out by the barn, and apparently the man can cure waterline ailments just by the laying on of hands, because it works now and all he did was play around with opening and closing the handle on it. He's not sure of the reason why, either, but we'll take it as a win. He hung around for a while to chat as he usually does, and we all talked about plans for the new pasture and shelter we want to add, bitched a bit about our barn, explained about the alpaca poo - the usual farm talk that takes place in this area. I really like him; he's a go-getter and has been since he was just a kid, but mostly I love his curiosity about new things. He's always loaded with questions about the alpacas; his dad is just the same when he's here. He's a wealth of information, too; I learned a lot of surprising things about dairy farming from talking with him.

We have several days of rain ahead of us, which is going to be a drag. There are things I want to do outside that can't be done while it's raining. Worse yet, the long range forecast is calling for six straight days of snow. I'm not freaking out too much yet about that, because the long range forecast is usually pretty iffy, but I'm telling you all now that if it turns out to be true, I may just go insane.

The bird is still around the paddocks. Mark has decided that we should name him Posca, after the character in Rome. Fine by me. Poor little thing. Hopefully the presence of the alpacas will keep him protected from the cats and the foxes and the other small predators that would like to have him for dinner.

And in closing, if you've never been nibbled by an alpaca, you're missing one of life's little treats :)