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Why am I still awake? Good question. It's been about 20 hours now on just a couple of hours sleep, and I'm going strong. Stronger than most of the day, actually. It's perverse. I'm perverse. We are all perverse. Perversions are we. Not wee, we. Well, maybe wee. Wee-wee like. That was my mother's euphemism for penis, btw: wee-wee. And poodle. Perverse, babies.
We had a poodle once. Neatest dog in the world. Max. Maximillian, Sir Walter of Kenyon. But just Max to us common folk. My brother and I decided that he was way too cool to be a poodle (of the canine, not penile sort) so I decreed that he was instead a rare, white Abyssinian tiger. Were there tigers in Abyssinia? Who the hell knows. Not I. I just thought that it sounded cool and the rhythm of it worked. Max was a mini poodle, so also not so much looking liking a tiger on that score, either. But gods he was a great doggie. Smart and sassy. And weird. But really smart. We had these door stops built into the walls; they were about three inches long made of tightly coiled metal with a little rubber stopper on the end. Maxie would hit it with his paw and make it twanggggggg, and that was the signal that he wanted to go outside. Cute! And smart! So my mother decides to put a bell on the stopper because ven the though house is hella tiny (and it was), we didn't always hear the twanging going on. so the bell makes it louder, yes? So what we end up with is Max hitting the bell (ringgggg!) and one of us would come trotting out to let him outside. Pavlov would have been so fucking proud. If we didn't get there quickly enough to suit Sir doggie, he'd start whacking the shit out of it - ring, ring, ring, ring ring rinnnnnnnnng, fucking ring damnit, come here and let me ouuuuuuuuut, you stupid humans! And sometimes he'd just get bored and whack it for the hell of it, and then he'd hide. And one of us would show up, no dog, we'd go back to doing whatever and he'd come out and whack it again. And again. Because we were slow to learn. No biscuits for us.
Man, i loved that dog. I lost him in the divorce. My mother couldn't take him and my father didn't want him. He ended up being given away to a friend of an acquaintance of a friend. Bu tone day, i swear to god, i was driving in Hartford and this car pulls up next to me and Max was there in the passenger seat. And he saw me and he started barking and jumping around and I'm calling max? is that you? Maxie! adn he's jumping and barking and I'm calling and starting to cry and then the light turns and the car takes off and I never saw Max again. Fucking broke my heart. Divorce. No one thinks of the animals. Or the kids in this case.
Uh, this pill should really be working by now. But no. Just make me fall over onto the keyboard already, pelase. I'll sleep here, honest.
I hate my hair in its current state. Which is overgrown. My bangs are like down to my knees. I'm expecting to get my hair cut in a couple of weeks, (Dar too. her hair. not getting her cut.) so I don't wnat to start hacking at my bangs on my own. Although I have fantasies about it, oh yes, I do. Anyway, the grey is really starting to show. I thought I'd get like all grey roots, but it's not coming like that. Instead I'm able to see whole strands of grey, but it's sublte. So far. Then of course there's the solid grey/white/silver clutch of hairs around my temples and forehaead. And eyebrowns. I like the grey hairs on my head, but I'm not a big fan of the eyebrows. I'll have to do something about that.
Did Gore win? anybody know? he showed up in a tux and everything. Awwwwww. I love my Al.
I want mushy cake. Where is the mushy cake? Rum cake. Yummmy to die for. The Franklin St Italian bakery on Franklin St. in hartford. Oh my god. Best rum cake in the world. it's almost impossible to find here in my part of Canukistan. No rum cake. No jewish delis. I'm in barbarianland. Eeeeeeee! Send me rum cake. Send me babke and blintzes and Hamentaschen and real cannolis. Oh and some dark chocolate whil you're at it. Mushy, mush cake.
When i was on a liquid diet after getting my jaw surgery, my favorite thing to put in the blender was pound cake and ice cream. To freakin' die for. Followed by chili in a blender. And meatloaf with gravy and just lttle bit of mashd potatoes. But never ever ever do pasta in a blender because you end iwth paste. Gross, gross, gross. Instant breakfast and ice cream and fruit was good, too. And you know, I lost a butt load of weight on that food cuz I had to eat if foor six weeks. I grew tired f a lot of it but not the cake and ice cream mix.
Oh for chris sake, please just knock me out. or at least send me little blue guys on me keyboard. Not that I need them because I'm ahllucinating on my own these days, hellooooo. Auditory hallucinations. Adn they're gettig mroe fequent. It's what kept waking me up all night. I'd hear the TV in the living room go on; I couldn't make out the voices, but the tone was very serious like something very bad had ahppened. That happened twice last night. i heard the phone ringing, expect it wsn't the phone. It's never th ephone and I hear that little hallucination all fo the reaking time. That can stop. I hear people alking but I cna't make out what they're saying. I told Dar this morning that I think sometimes that I'm going crazy. It must be stress or a nuerological thing or maybe I really am going crazy. If I'm going to hear strange things, then why can't my cats talke to me. I'd love to carry on a conversation with any of them. Talk to me, kitties I'll listen I'm a great lstener. I'd be a rockin' interview, too. I generally find most people to be fascinatin, and I'm happy to find out what make y'all tick. Anyone want to be interviewed by bme? My play writing teacher said that the vast majority of people thingk that everyday conversation si boring, but I didn't. i think that's why I have a decent hadn at writing dialogue; I enjoy eaves droppig in public places and catching the way someone turns a phrase or the cadence of a local dialect. I get msyelf into trouble sometimes - evne with friends - because I'll repeat back something they've just said. I'm not making fu; just the opposite - I'm appreciating the phrase or phrsaing that you've used; I'm rolling it around my tongue and mouth, tasting it, chewing on it, hopefully storing it away f or fututre use. (If I were a squirrel, i'd be storing it in my pouchy mouth, isn't that fabulous?) And if there were any justice, i would have the squirrel as my totem. Instead I have an ealge, which eats squirrels (bastuhd!) which probably exlplains why I'm such a conflicted and angsty individual. Sort of. My totems are entirely incompatiblige, man. Not good for the psyche or the chakras. Run little squirrel of my heart - my totem is on a ram[agae. Try selling that to the cops when you're out in a field beatig the living crap out of yoursel all alone and screaming in two different voices Stand stil! It won't hurt; I mut eat you, it's my nature"! And then yelling bak in a high chatter, Get the fucka way ffomr me you big beaked feathered sadist! It would b e unhappy for all involved.
I give up. Maybe if I retend to sleep, I can trick my subconcsious. I need new kepbord becuse this one cn't spell for shit.\\
Sleep. Please ocme and do your lethrgic thigie. Just put me to sleep . Oh, but not in the Mokie way. Mokie! We got another condolensce cll from our vet, becsue she rocks and she know we loved the Mokiwesauru and it was hard to kill her (spada a sape, guys)
maoser just busted down the door and wandered in. My little giu. He's been so affectionate latel,tht it's feaking me out. Aww he all steached ou so seductively beside me in his best Playcat "Pet me" pose. And I wil. Maoser =, y moamaomaoamao.
No blue men, but a perfectly find fur guy. I win.
Sleeep, dmnit. and rum cake. I'll love you for the rest of my life,which if my somewhat prophetic dreams don't kick in should be fairly long time. Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
OOps. Tried to rise to stretch. Not moving ll that well. Thanks god I just hve to fall of the ahcir backwards to hti the bed. Let's try in shall we? byeeeeeeeee!
We had a poodle once. Neatest dog in the world. Max. Maximillian, Sir Walter of Kenyon. But just Max to us common folk. My brother and I decided that he was way too cool to be a poodle (of the canine, not penile sort) so I decreed that he was instead a rare, white Abyssinian tiger. Were there tigers in Abyssinia? Who the hell knows. Not I. I just thought that it sounded cool and the rhythm of it worked. Max was a mini poodle, so also not so much looking liking a tiger on that score, either. But gods he was a great doggie. Smart and sassy. And weird. But really smart. We had these door stops built into the walls; they were about three inches long made of tightly coiled metal with a little rubber stopper on the end. Maxie would hit it with his paw and make it twanggggggg, and that was the signal that he wanted to go outside. Cute! And smart! So my mother decides to put a bell on the stopper because ven the though house is hella tiny (and it was), we didn't always hear the twanging going on. so the bell makes it louder, yes? So what we end up with is Max hitting the bell (ringgggg!) and one of us would come trotting out to let him outside. Pavlov would have been so fucking proud. If we didn't get there quickly enough to suit Sir doggie, he'd start whacking the shit out of it - ring, ring, ring, ring ring rinnnnnnnnng, fucking ring damnit, come here and let me ouuuuuuuuut, you stupid humans! And sometimes he'd just get bored and whack it for the hell of it, and then he'd hide. And one of us would show up, no dog, we'd go back to doing whatever and he'd come out and whack it again. And again. Because we were slow to learn. No biscuits for us.
Man, i loved that dog. I lost him in the divorce. My mother couldn't take him and my father didn't want him. He ended up being given away to a friend of an acquaintance of a friend. Bu tone day, i swear to god, i was driving in Hartford and this car pulls up next to me and Max was there in the passenger seat. And he saw me and he started barking and jumping around and I'm calling max? is that you? Maxie! adn he's jumping and barking and I'm calling and starting to cry and then the light turns and the car takes off and I never saw Max again. Fucking broke my heart. Divorce. No one thinks of the animals. Or the kids in this case.
Uh, this pill should really be working by now. But no. Just make me fall over onto the keyboard already, pelase. I'll sleep here, honest.
I hate my hair in its current state. Which is overgrown. My bangs are like down to my knees. I'm expecting to get my hair cut in a couple of weeks, (Dar too. her hair. not getting her cut.) so I don't wnat to start hacking at my bangs on my own. Although I have fantasies about it, oh yes, I do. Anyway, the grey is really starting to show. I thought I'd get like all grey roots, but it's not coming like that. Instead I'm able to see whole strands of grey, but it's sublte. So far. Then of course there's the solid grey/white/silver clutch of hairs around my temples and forehaead. And eyebrowns. I like the grey hairs on my head, but I'm not a big fan of the eyebrows. I'll have to do something about that.
Did Gore win? anybody know? he showed up in a tux and everything. Awwwwww. I love my Al.
I want mushy cake. Where is the mushy cake? Rum cake. Yummmy to die for. The Franklin St Italian bakery on Franklin St. in hartford. Oh my god. Best rum cake in the world. it's almost impossible to find here in my part of Canukistan. No rum cake. No jewish delis. I'm in barbarianland. Eeeeeeee! Send me rum cake. Send me babke and blintzes and Hamentaschen and real cannolis. Oh and some dark chocolate whil you're at it. Mushy, mush cake.
When i was on a liquid diet after getting my jaw surgery, my favorite thing to put in the blender was pound cake and ice cream. To freakin' die for. Followed by chili in a blender. And meatloaf with gravy and just lttle bit of mashd potatoes. But never ever ever do pasta in a blender because you end iwth paste. Gross, gross, gross. Instant breakfast and ice cream and fruit was good, too. And you know, I lost a butt load of weight on that food cuz I had to eat if foor six weeks. I grew tired f a lot of it but not the cake and ice cream mix.
Oh for chris sake, please just knock me out. or at least send me little blue guys on me keyboard. Not that I need them because I'm ahllucinating on my own these days, hellooooo. Auditory hallucinations. Adn they're gettig mroe fequent. It's what kept waking me up all night. I'd hear the TV in the living room go on; I couldn't make out the voices, but the tone was very serious like something very bad had ahppened. That happened twice last night. i heard the phone ringing, expect it wsn't the phone. It's never th ephone and I hear that little hallucination all fo the reaking time. That can stop. I hear people alking but I cna't make out what they're saying. I told Dar this morning that I think sometimes that I'm going crazy. It must be stress or a nuerological thing or maybe I really am going crazy. If I'm going to hear strange things, then why can't my cats talke to me. I'd love to carry on a conversation with any of them. Talk to me, kitties I'll listen I'm a great lstener. I'd be a rockin' interview, too. I generally find most people to be fascinatin, and I'm happy to find out what make y'all tick. Anyone want to be interviewed by bme? My play writing teacher said that the vast majority of people thingk that everyday conversation si boring, but I didn't. i think that's why I have a decent hadn at writing dialogue; I enjoy eaves droppig in public places and catching the way someone turns a phrase or the cadence of a local dialect. I get msyelf into trouble sometimes - evne with friends - because I'll repeat back something they've just said. I'm not making fu; just the opposite - I'm appreciating the phrase or phrsaing that you've used; I'm rolling it around my tongue and mouth, tasting it, chewing on it, hopefully storing it away f or fututre use. (If I were a squirrel, i'd be storing it in my pouchy mouth, isn't that fabulous?) And if there were any justice, i would have the squirrel as my totem. Instead I have an ealge, which eats squirrels (bastuhd!) which probably exlplains why I'm such a conflicted and angsty individual. Sort of. My totems are entirely incompatiblige, man. Not good for the psyche or the chakras. Run little squirrel of my heart - my totem is on a ram[agae. Try selling that to the cops when you're out in a field beatig the living crap out of yoursel all alone and screaming in two different voices Stand stil! It won't hurt; I mut eat you, it's my nature"! And then yelling bak in a high chatter, Get the fucka way ffomr me you big beaked feathered sadist! It would b e unhappy for all involved.
I give up. Maybe if I retend to sleep, I can trick my subconcsious. I need new kepbord becuse this one cn't spell for shit.\\
Sleep. Please ocme and do your lethrgic thigie. Just put me to sleep . Oh, but not in the Mokie way. Mokie! We got another condolensce cll from our vet, becsue she rocks and she know we loved the Mokiwesauru and it was hard to kill her (spada a sape, guys)
maoser just busted down the door and wandered in. My little giu. He's been so affectionate latel,tht it's feaking me out. Aww he all steached ou so seductively beside me in his best Playcat "Pet me" pose. And I wil. Maoser =, y moamaomaoamao.
No blue men, but a perfectly find fur guy. I win.
Sleeep, dmnit. and rum cake. I'll love you for the rest of my life,which if my somewhat prophetic dreams don't kick in should be fairly long time. Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
OOps. Tried to rise to stretch. Not moving ll that well. Thanks god I just hve to fall of the ahcir backwards to hti the bed. Let's try in shall we? byeeeeeeeee!
no subject
2007-02-26 06:38 (UTC)no subject
2007-02-26 22:28 (UTC)The world would be a much different place today if he'd been allowed the presidency that he'd won.
no subject
2007-02-26 07:16 (UTC)We also had a dog that liked playing with the door stops. Unfortunately for him it wasn't a signal for anything.
no subject
2007-02-26 22:31 (UTC)As to your dog, maybe it was a signal and you guys just weren't getting it. Ha! Dogs have their own logic, furry and weird as it is. Got to love 'em. And speaking of which, I love the Cisco pics!
no subject
2007-02-27 08:02 (UTC)no subject
2007-02-26 11:55 (UTC)no subject
2007-02-26 22:36 (UTC)no subject
2007-02-26 23:44 (UTC)no subject
2007-02-26 23:54 (UTC)no subject
2007-02-27 03:35 (UTC)That recipe looks incredible and very true to what I remember. I've saved it, and someday when I have about 140 hours to make it, I shall. In fact, I'll make it for you when you next come to visit. After the snow melts and you don't have to worry about ending up in a snow-covered ditch.
no subject
2007-02-26 12:07 (UTC)Sometimes you just strike fear into my heart.
no subject
2007-02-26 22:38 (UTC)no subject
2007-02-26 13:15 (UTC)no subject
2007-02-26 22:39 (UTC)How's the evening commute looking for you?
no subject
2007-02-26 22:46 (UTC)Plus, the local snow flurries cut off sometime before noon. We're to have a bit more tomorrow and on Friday, but other than that not a whole lot.
no subject
2007-02-26 16:02 (UTC)no subject
2007-02-26 22:40 (UTC)no subject
2007-02-26 16:26 (UTC)(If I were a squirrel, i'd be storing it in my pouchy mouth, isn't that fabulous?)
...made me almost fall out of my chair. So. Funny.
But I'm worried about you! No sleep and hearing strange things and being all stressed? Maybe one of these trips to the DR with Maddie, you could see one, too? Please take care. I worry, dontcha know? And I wish I could do something for you. Come and sing you a lullaby.
no subject
2007-02-26 22:45 (UTC)I usually keep a fan going next to my bed at night for the white noise since I'm such a light sleeper. I think that there's something in the aural range of that particular white noise that does it. Although that doesn't explain the phone. Hmmmm. Again, I'm guessing that it's the particular tonal quality of this phone that is so easy for my brain to mimic.
The Max story was very sad in real life. At least he did go to a good home, and he looked all kinds of pampered in that car. I just missed him, and it was so bittersweet to see that he recognized me.
Pouchy mouth? Sometimes I amaze myself. Heh.
no subject
2007-02-26 16:32 (UTC)no subject
2007-02-26 16:35 (UTC)no subject
2007-02-26 22:47 (UTC)no subject
2007-02-26 21:27 (UTC)*DIES*
That should totally be on an icon. Unfortunately it's kind of a lot of text, so it'd probably have to be animated, and I currently lack the energy for animated icons. But I have this lovely image in my head of a little squirrel drawing in the bottom left corner with a big eagle drawing looming in the upper right corner. *sighs*
no subject
2007-02-26 22:49 (UTC)You know, if you ever get enough rest so that you're functioning (and don't think that I'm not frequently worried about you with that), I'd love to see what you do with it.
no subject
2007-02-26 23:37 (UTC)no subject
2007-11-11 14:36 (UTC)no subject
2007-11-11 23:20 (UTC)no subject
2007-02-26 21:52 (UTC)You simply must write on this lovely insomnia drug more often, cuz you've almost caused me to pee myself from laughing.
<3 Mays.
no subject
2007-02-26 22:52 (UTC)I have to save the Imovane for the nights where I'm gonna be off the freakin' wall if I don't get some sleep, but I agree - it's one hell of a writing aid.
no subject
2007-02-26 23:09 (UTC)no subject
2007-02-27 03:39 (UTC)