tonight's menu and a dream

I dreamt last night that Mark was driving to work; I was in the front seat and a very bouncy Rachel Maddow was in the back. Mark was acting crazy - speaking Gaelic, laughing, and doing things like driving into malls. INTO malls. When he drove up a stairway in a tenement, I tried to put a stop on it; he started backing down the staircase and hit a little boy. He didn't realize it. Commence freak out on my part while Mark climbs into back seat to continue chatting and laughing withRacel. I woke up. Driving into work this morning - real life - he alsmost hit a dog. Bit dog. Big white dog. He didn't see it. He didn't see the car stopped in front of us stopping for the big white dog. I had to yell Mark! Mark! and perpare for impact before he slammed on the brakes. He still didn't seen the dog until after he stopped. And this is why I drive, no mater how tired I am. Because I see the dog and the stopped car in front of us.

Tonight's menu was i Baclofen 20mg (causes drowsiness; I take it for spasms in my leg; 1 Imovane 7.5 mg - straight sleeping pill. I Tylenol 3 (300mg acetaminophin, 15 mg caffeine, 30 mg codeine) causes drowsiness. Followed by a slpash of vodka to degerm my retainer and ease the pain in my gums and then 2 gulps of Irish liquor. I sometimes add 1 or 2 mg of Lorazepam, to no use, sadly. I'm afraid to add any more or go crazy washing the combos down with a glass of booze. Although I'm tempted, especailly now. I have some stuff guaranteed to know me out for about 12-16 hours, but I need to be up and working around dawn. Anyway, the pills are down, the drinks are drinked dranked drunked. And I'm going to sleep if it kills me. Which also? Not really resistant to at this point. I think I have various funeral plans laying around. Or hey - surprise me! Llamas in church lady hats would be a good start.

Off to fight for sleep.

don't look for logic or order in this

1. It's snowing like a bitch out there. Howling wind, below freezing temps. Miserable day.

2. I can't remember the last time I've had more than 90 minutes of straight sleep. I don't know how this is going to end or how long I can last. Even sleeping pills (in varying combinations) aren't doing it. I've been slightly stupid in trying to force sleep, but I can't do any more without scaring the hell out of myself with the possibilities of bad outcomes. So now I just hope that my body just gives out on me, I guess. I'll take it anyway I can get it.

3. I'm also sick. Yay! Sore throat (adding to the not being able to sleep), cough when I lie down (adding to the not being able to sleep), stuffy yet runny nose (adding to the not being able to sleep.)

4. I fully expect multiple cria births tomorrow and/or Sunday. If one of them is Delilah's cria, then that will also be a premie. Delilah's cria was very, very active today, and two of Deb's huacayas were cushing sideways (trust me, it's a sign.) Plus there was a lot of sniffing of those three girls' butts. Plus, the boys across the way from them were going crazy today - fighting and trying to mount each other. They can smell the hormone changes. Great.

5. Everyone is gone. The Alpaca Ontario show is this weekend. The only ones still in the area are Mark, Maddie, and me. Yeah. Plus we have to do all of the chores all of the time. Which means mostly me doing it, because that's just the way that goes.

6. At least the weather is supposed to warm up tomorrow.

7. I did the all-day neuropsych testing on Thursday. It was interesting and pretty tiring. Lots of memorization tests. She'd say a list of 12 objects, and I'd have to repeat them back. Then do another 12, and then go back to the previous 12. Then do some more tests of other things, and then - hey, tell me those 12 objects from the first test. Or repeat this story back to me. Do other tests. Repeat that story. Name the months of the year backwards as fast as you can. There are 7 days in the week, name the days backwards - with their numerical counterpart (Saturday 7, Friday 6 . . .) as fast as you can. I'll give you 8 letters and numbers - repeat them back to me in order, numbers first: 7 J K 3 P 4 Q 9. Then we got into the geometric shapes portion of the tests. I can not do those. That's not defeatism on my part, that's just a simple fact of my perceptual abilities. (The test started off with an interview, so I'd already told them about that particular perceptual problem of mine. They'll take that into account when they review the results.) It was very frustrating,though, to do so many tests that I simply can't see the way that other people can. Then there were language tests - define words, explain similarities, list animals, words beginning with particular letters, etc. Manual dexterity tests. Reflex tests. It took almost six hours, and I was brain-fried by the end. I'll get the results on the 23rd. I'm really looking forward to seeing how I scored.

8. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

9. Think "no cria" thoughts. Please. Please. I can do the chores and all of the other stuff, but please don't let anyone give birth this weekend. Please.