Because it deserves its own entry

Happy Birthday to budclare!

I hope it's the best year ever for you, and may you find on your return to your apartment that the roommate has developed a conscience and an ecstatic sense of cleanliness. Or at the very least laryngitis.

An undetermined number of things about not that much

1. I had a couple weird dreams last night. I don't remember much about them except at one point I was trapped in a house within a maze of white stucco, barely lit hallways. I could feel the texture on my hands as I tried to escape, and I remember repeating over and over, "This is a dream. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up." I didn't wake up, but I did move on to another dreamscape. Good enough.

2. As can be inferred from #1 there, not such a good night of sleep. Fell asleep late, slept fitfully, woke up early but managed to fall asleep for another hour or so. The good news is that I have Carol's condo to myself, so I'll probably drop off to napping in a little while.

3. Since I couldn't get to sleep, I read. I started in on Thread of Grace, and I'm enjoying it very much. It's about Italian civilians rescuing Jewish emigrants during the latter part of WWII. It's a whole section of history that had escaped my notice, so I'm finding it fascinating as well as a good read. Thank you again, caerwynx :)

4. I bought myself the biggest, hugest iced Dunkin' Donuts coffee I could buy. And I am content in my icy slurping.

5. I went to the cemetery to visit my parents' graves. Since they had been long divorced by the time they died, they're buried in completely separate areas of this very large cemetery. I stood by my father's grave, and I felt nothing. Hi, dad. It's a shame that you never really took to me, but there you have it. We'll probably bump into each other next time around; that should be interesting.

6. I had a hard time finding my mother's grave. It's in a section that only allows the little plaques that are ground level; I find her grave by lining up the sight lines of a huge old maple tree in the distance, but this time it wasn't working for me. An elderly Hispanic man came up to me and offered to help, but I assured him I'd find it, and I did. I was using the wrong tree as a guide. I always have such mixed feelings at her graveside, but that's really no surprise because I have mixed feelings pretty much any time I think about my mother. Each time I'm newly struck by the irony of her lonely grave when the one thing she feared more than anything else was being alone and forgotten. She's not there; it's just a mouldering body in that crypt, but that the outcome of all her fevered attempts to connect to me, to sear herself into my identity, that it should all come to this lone, mostly unvisited piece of ground . . . well, I can't help but feel sad for her. I hope to hell that she's moved on, that she's found some peace, and that all of this now is nothing, a trifle.

7. The elderly Hispanic man is named Jay. I believe that's a nickname :) He was visiting his wife's grave - she died a year and a half ago - and as I said, he offered to help me search for my mom's site. He saw that I found it, and when I was walking back to the car he came over to talk. He was happy that I found it, but rather saddened because I lived so far away now. He urged me to go with him back to the gravesite and say a prayer with him, like the one he says every time he visits his wife. I politely declined, and he took it with good grace. He waters the plants that are on all the graves in that section; to be honest there aren't that many, because we were told that they weren't allowed here. Jay assured me that he had gone straight to "the big man" when he'd been told that, and that the policy has changed. If I want to plant something, he'd be happy to water it for me. I think I may put some wildflower seeds around the edges the next time I come down.

8. I fought Carol's microwave, and the microwave won.

9. It's damn hot out there. Hot and humid. Hot and humid and hazy. Hot and humid and hazy and hellish.

10. I swear to you: I just saw a vulture fly overhead.

11. I do believe it's naptime.